Article Directory
Ubisoft's Black Friday Bait-and-Switch: Free Games Today, Bankrupt Tomorrow?
So, Ubisoft's giving away Immortals Fenyx Rising for free. Okay. Big whoop. It's like they're trying to distract us from something, right? Like when a magician says "look over there!" while picking your pocket. And what are they distracting us from? Oh, just the small matter of delaying their earnings report at the last freakin' minute and requesting a trading freeze. Real smooth move, guys. According to Ubisoft delays its earnings at the last minute and requests a freeze on trading, the company delayed the report at the last minute.
"Due to legal regulations," they can't even tell their own employees what's going on? Give me a break. That's corporate speak for "we screwed up, and we're lawyering up." It's ALWAYS the same story. Transparency? Honesty? Nah. Just layers of PR and legal jargon designed to keep us in the dark. I'm sure the executives are doing just fine though.
And the Black Friday sales? "Up to 90% off!" Yeah, on games nobody wants. The Division 2 for $7.50? Please. That game's been gathering dust in the bargain bin since 2019. It's like trying to sell me a used toothbrush and calling it a "steal." This ain't a sale; it's a fire sale. And the fire is probably in Ubisoft's accounts department.
Smoke and Mirrors and Greek Myths
Immortals Fenyx Rising... I remember when that came out. Polygon said it "can’t help from becoming a game that shoves you down a path." Translation: it's a generic open-world game with a Greek mythology skin slapped on top. It's like ordering a pizza and finding out it's made with cardboard and feta cheese. I mean, I like feta, but not on everything.
Ubisoft Connect is five years old, so they're giving away a game. Great. My car is five years old. Is someone going to give me a free car? I didn't think so. This is marketing 101: dangle a shiny object to keep the masses happy while the ship slowly sinks. Cross-play, cross-progression... who cares when the whole company might be belly-up in a year?
Then again, maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe they are celebrating Ubisoft Connect. Maybe the CFO just had a bad burrito and needed to delay the earnings call. Maybe... nah. I don't buy it.
Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
EA is going private in a $55 billion deal with Saudi money? Tencent taking a 25% stake in some Ubisoft spin-off? It's all starting to sound like one big game of corporate musical chairs. And when the music stops, someone's gonna be left standing without a chair. My money's on the French company. Offcourse, I've been wrong before.
What I want to know is, what's really going on behind the scenes? What skeletons are they trying to hide in the closet? Are they about to announce a massive round of layoffs? Are they cooking the books? Are they planning to move the entire operation to the Cayman Islands? These are the questions that keep me up at night, people!